All the World's a Stage
I remember when I had newborns and thought this was definitely the hardest stage. I remember after sleepless nights with my newborn my sister said to me "just remember, as hard as it is now, it won't last forever. No stage lasts forever and this stage will end."
She was right.
With each baby the sleepless nights would begin and I'd wonder if I'd ever sleep again. I'd put them down to sleep and then race to my own room to fall asleep as fast as I could because I wasn't sure how long I would be sleeping for. 1 hour? 4 hours? It was anyone's guess but I couldn't take any chances and I had to get any sleep I could.
But as my sister said, the stage didn't last. I slept through the night again. The thing is, that isn't the hard stage. Not even close. The thing about one stage ending and another one beginning is that each new stage leaves behind things from the previous stage that we are glad to get rid of. The bad news is with each stage there are new challenges.
We don't like the sleepless nights of the newborn stage but it sure is nice to not have them moving all around yet. When they are walking we are glad they are sleeping better but can't take our eyes off of them as they still are unsteady on their feet and get into things that could hurt them. We can't wait until they can finally be done with diapers yet we dread the potty training and disgusting public bathrooms we will encounter with them (why must they always pick the absolute worst places?!) and the two potty breaks on the one hour drive. It's all hard and exhausting and there are gives and takes.
But they're home. And they're yours. And you are their world. And they haven't experienced true disappointment or being away from you or getting their heart broken. The hard part is sending them out into the world. And honestly? I'm in the middle. Between the infant and teen years. The years of still having them home as much as possible while helping them be independent and responsible. Balancing protecting them while giving them freedom. I can't imagine when they start driving. Or go to college. The world can be tough and it won't treat them like we will. So we hope we've done our best to guide them to make the right choices and surround themselves with the right people. Give them wings but always know they can come home where they are safe and loved.
When they're little we lose sleep because they need us. They need us because we are their world. They need us to feed them and change them and cuddle them. As they get older they finally sleep and we still lose sleep - because we are no longer their world. And it's not that we aren't ok with that. We just know the world can be cruel. And we want to protect them. So we lose sleep worrying if they’ll get their heart broken of or if they’ll make friends or if they’ll make the baseball team or get hurt playing football. We’ll lose sleep wondering if we did everything right. We will lose sleep because we can’t control the world we are sending them into and we will lose sleep wondering if we did enough to teach them how to deal with all of the things that life may throw their way.
But we can't baby proof the world for them. We can't kiss their boo boos and make it all better. All we can do is give them the tools they need to go off into a world that can be cruel and won’t hold their hand and tell them everything will be ok.
Sleepless nights are hard. And toddlers are hard. And I don’t have any yet but I was one and if I’m any indication I can say for certain that teens are hard.
So while they are little and at home and safe — soak it in. Love them. Spend time with them. Have them look in your eyes and see you as the most important thing in the world. Because someday you won’t be.
And that stage is the hardest.